Okay, so I’m driving home right now and I almost forgot to record this.
Actually I did forget.
I was halfway home when I remembered somebody asked me earlier today, “Why does my dog lick me when I pet her?” and I thought, yeah, that’s probably worth talking about because people ask me that all the time.
Not every day.
Well maybe every day.
Close enough.
Anyway, there was this dog named Bella. Sweet mixed breed. Brown ears. Always looked slightly confused, even when she knew exactly what was going on.
Every single time her owner petted her, Bella started licking.
Hands.
Arms.
Sometimes sleeves.
Once she licked a shoelace for reasons nobody understood.
And I remember standing there wondering if it was affection or habit or maybe Bella was just being Bella.
That’s the thing with dog licking behavior.
People want one answer.
Dogs usually give you five possible answers and then go do something even stranger.
Actually, hold on.
The car in front of me has one of those bumper stickers that says “Student Driver.”
I swear I’ve seen that same sticker on the same car for like three years.
At some point you’re not a student anymore.
Okay.
Back to dogs.
Why Does My Dog Lick Me When I Pet Her ?
One thing I’ve noticed is that when people ask why does my dog lick me when I pet her, they’re usually hoping the answer is something sweet.
And sometimes it is.
I remember a Golden Retriever named Daisy who would rest her head on her owner’s knee and slowly lick her hand whenever she got attention.
Not nonstop.
Just a few little licks.
Then she’d sigh and practically fall asleep.
Honestly, it looked like one of those signs your dog loves you moments.
Could I prove it?
No.
Not really.
I can’t exactly interview Daisy.
Although if dogs could talk I feel like we’d all be in trouble.
Imagine finding out your dog has been judging your life choices for years.
That would be rough.
There was another dog, Buddy.
Old Labrador.
Big head.
Big paws.
Tiny understanding of personal space.
Buddy licked everybody.
Literally everybody.
Visitors.
Neighbors.
The veterinarian.
One time he tried licking my coffee cup while I was drinking from it.
Not my favorite moment.
And that’s why I sometimes hesitate when people ask why dogs lick people.
Because Buddy would’ve licked a fence post if it stood still long enough.
Maybe licking was affection.
Maybe it was curiosity.
Maybe he just liked tasting things.
Honestly, I never figured him out completely.
Dogs are funny that way.
You can spend years around them and still be surprised.
Actually that’s probably why I still enjoy this work.
If dogs were predictable I’d probably be bored by now.
There was this Border Collie named Maggie.
Maggie almost never licked anybody.
Then one afternoon during a training session her owner sat down beside her and started petting her.
Maggie gave one lick.
Just one.
Then went back to staring into space.
That’s it.
Like she’d fulfilled some obligation.
I still laugh thinking about it.
A lot of dog communication feels like that to me.
Dogs are communicating.
We’re just guessing.
Sometimes educated guessing.
Sometimes not so educated.
Years ago I embarrassed myself pretty badly.
Actually this still makes me cringe.
My own dog kept licking my arm every evening while I watched television.
I thought it was this beautiful bonding moment.
For weeks.
Maybe months.
Then one day I realized I was eating popcorn with butter and apparently wiping my hands on my shirt without noticing.
Turns out my dog wasn’t necessarily expressing deep emotional attachment.
She may have been conducting a butter investigation.
I felt so stupid.
Still do a little.
Life humbles you.
Dogs help.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that dog body language matters a lot when licking happens.
See, a relaxed dog licking during petting feels different than a nervous dog licking during petting.
I know that’s obvious.
Or maybe it’s not.
Actually I don’t know.
Long day.
But when a dog is loose and comfortable and leaning into you, the licking often seems connected to comfort.
At least from what I’ve seen.
There was a Boxer named Charlie.
Huge dog.
Thought he was a lapdog.
Definitely wasn’t.
Charlie would practically climb into people’s laps whenever they sat down.
Then he’d start licking their hands while getting scratched behind the ears.
It became part of his routine.
Petting.
Licking.
Tail wagging.
Repeat.
Every single time.
Looking back, I think some dogs simply create habits around affection.
Or maybe bonding with your dog creates those habits naturally.
Not sure.
Maybe both.
Actually traffic isn’t moving at all now.
Not even a little.
I could probably train three dogs before I get home.
That’s an exaggeration.
Probably.
Anyway.
There was this rescue dog named Luna.
Luna took months to trust people.
Months.
She’d stay at a distance.
Watch everything.
Think about everything.
Then one day during a session she walked over to her owner, accepted some petting, and started licking her fingers.
Tiny little licks.
Nothing dramatic.
I remember feeling relieved.
Not because licking itself mattered so much.
Because it felt like progress.
Like Luna was finally relaxing.
That’s one reason I think people sometimes connect licking with affection.
We’ve all seen moments where a dog becomes more comfortable and the licking starts showing up too.
Again, maybe I’m wrong.
Wouldn’t be the first time.
Won’t be the last.
There was a German Shepherd named Max who completely confused me.
Max looked serious all the time.
Like he had important meetings to attend.
Then somebody scratched under his chin and suddenly he transformed into the happiest dog on earth.
Licking.
Wiggling.
Making weird little noises.
The whole thing.
I remember being genuinely surprised.
Actually I was surprised every single time.
You’d think I’d learn.
Nope.
What was I saying?
Right.
Licking.
Sorry.
My brain does this when I’m tired.
When people ask why does my dog lick me when I pet her, I think we sometimes forget how individual dogs are.
Bella wasn’t Daisy.
Daisy wasn’t Buddy.
Buddy definitely wasn’t Luna.
Every dog had their own style.
Their own quirks.
Their own weird little routines.
Some dogs lick constantly.
Some barely lick at all.
Some only do it with one person.
That’s always interesting to me.
Really interesting.
I had one client whose dog only licked her and absolutely nobody else.
Not her husband.
Not her kids.
Just her.
Explain that.
I can’t.
The dog never filled me in.
One thing I do believe, though, is that a lot of licking happens during moments when dogs are paying attention to us.
Really paying attention.
We’re touching them.
Talking to them.
Sharing space with them.
That’s a big deal from a dog’s perspective.
At least I think it is.
I’ve watched enough dogs over the years to feel pretty strongly about that.
Or maybe not strongly.
Moderately strongly.
Let’s go with that.
Anyway, I’m almost home now.
Thank goodness because my back is killing me and I still need to figure out dinner.
But whenever somebody asks why does my dog lick me when I pet her, I end up thinking about Bella, Daisy, Buddy, Maggie, Charlie, Luna, and Max.
Different dogs.
Different personalities.
Different reasons maybe.
Some licking probably comes from affection.
Some from habit.
Some from curiosity.
Some because you spilled butter on yourself and didn’t notice.
That one still hurts my pride.
But whatever the reason, those little moments are usually part of a relationship.
And honestly, after all these years working with dogs, that’s probably the part I like most.
The weird little things dogs do that somehow become the memories we keep forever.
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